It’s raining, the sad tears from heaven falling; the corrupted angels kiss. The kind of rain that strangles your mood, the kind that makes melancholy normal.
There is no love in this downfall, no joy, no silver lining, just fear, crushing your very being. your dead to the core. The only being able to lift you up, to split the sky, and bring the sun, just got lowered six feet under. Your alone, the only company the many voices in your head, the glares shot at you, ingrained in your mind, given autonomy only to hate.
“You did this.”
“I always knew she was bad for you.”
“How could you drive him to this.”
“It should have been you.”
How could you have, what did you do… he only ever loved you, brought you out of your own stupid world, into the bright meadow of his world. No! He taught you not to say things like that He said you were special, wonderful, the only way he knew heaven existed, because you came from something better than this cruel world. You were never a danger to him, he was comfortable around you, he didn’t treat you with cushioned words, or out right disdain, he treated you like a princess, and a woman, a lover and an equal.
The memory of when you first met, the memory of your wedding, the memory of the first time you truly connected to him: these are the things he told you to hold close, to never forget, memories of him, of your Revan, would shelter you from the wildest storm. As he lay bleeding in your arms, he never lost his confident smile, the love in his eyes never brighter, even dying he still knew what to say.
“I’ll meet back in your true birthplace, my angel, you have given me so much. I do not fear death, for I know it is only the gateway to your heart, the doors of heaven are welcoming me, my love. I will meet you there when this world has had a true taste of your perfection. I will be forever watching over you, forever with you in spirit, I love you my Reeva.”
Hey Kaden,
DAAANG this is actually the best thing I’ve seen on all of the blogs in general! Seriously, this is an amazing piece of work and you should be proud of it. You asked me to read through and find any spelling or other errors so here is my help:
Line 1: “…falling; the corrupted…”
Line 4: “…core. The only…”
Line 13: “…like that. He said…”
Line 18: “…to him: these are the things…”
Line 22: “…birthplace, my angel, you have…”
That’s all I discovered. Keep up the brilliant work.
-Lucas
this is perfect, thank you so much, exactly what I wanted.
Dear Kaden!
What an exceptional piece of writing you have here. It was very well written and deep in my opinion. I really enjoyed the description of the rain and the metaphor you used, comparing the rain and tears.
Although, this was an amazing piece of writing to read, my mind got distracted with the little spelling errors and the long sentences. I feel that your writing can be much better if you just read through the post again and just fix those tiny errors that occur. Just like Lucas said earlier. It starts off with the little things that lead to the big finish.
Also, don’t forget the blog aesthetics, tags and categories for each post. These may be worth little marks but it can make a huge difference! Keep up the great work. I can’t wait to read more of your writing.
Andrew 🙂
Thanks Andrew, that is very good advice, and I will try to fix it.
Wow my grandson, how deep. Much deeper than I have ever written. Well done!!! I loved it. Keep developing your use of language.